i don't like sucking hair
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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