My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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