Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
