I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
