It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize