I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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