And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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