I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
