Buhtt sex?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He has the fingertips of a God
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