Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I woke up under a house in Key West
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
