Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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