i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize