This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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