Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
