I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
