White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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