How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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