my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
