well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
