I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
