Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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