So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
