Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
