I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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