I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
