I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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