Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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