You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
