Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
