You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
