I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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