doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He? As in you personified your dick?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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