Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
