God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
