The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize