Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
