Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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