Please, let me fuck your mom
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Congratulations! We have a period
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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