You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
