My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
how drunk are you?
Several
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
