he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
