The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
handjob tips. give me some.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
