with your own penis?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
