he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
