I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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