dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
