I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
