remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Is it because I queefed?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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