yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
