Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
