At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
