I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
