Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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