***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
