i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
