I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
