I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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