I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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