It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
