All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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