its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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