she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
should my penis look like a turkey
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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