I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
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