Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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