Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
