just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
