Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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