hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
