I'm gonna have a badass scar
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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