After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
