There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
PANTIES FOUND
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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