The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
