): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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